| "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." -Dave Barry |
| "The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'" -Dave Barry, referring to the actor who played the Lone Ranger on radio |
| "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." -W.C. Fields |
| "Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink." -W.C. Fields |
| "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." -For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway |
| "May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead." -Old Irish Toast |
| "He was a wise man who invented beer." -Plato |
| "[I recommend]… bread, meat, vegetables and beer." -Sophocles' philosophy of a moderate diet |
| "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." -Abraham Lincoln |
| "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -Frank Zappa |
| "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"- Brian O'Rourke |
| "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?" -Stephen Wright |
| "The roots and herbs beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengthen and quicken the sight of the eyes." -Nicholas Culpeper |
| "An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer." - Confucius |
| "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." -Kaiser Wilhelm |
| "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." - "The Buffalo Theory" Cliff Claven - Cheers |